When It Can’t Be Fixed…
Written by Janna
Monday, 24 May 2010 08:47
My pretty little dancing princess!
So, this Saturday will probably go down in my life’s history as possibly one of my worst days. I’ll probably never forget it and sorry to say, but my Olivia will probably never forget it either. I’m actually entirely embarrassed about my mistake and considered keeping it to myself, but maybe some of you will relate, or at least I hope you will so I won’t feel so completely alone.
Saturday was supposed to be Olivia’s big day…the day when she was to perform at her dance recital. This was moment that she had been practicing for for the last five months and we were all looking forward to seeing her shine. Well, somehow…and I’m not making any excuses…I got the time mixed up. Somehow, I thought the dance recital was at 5 PM when it was in fact at 4 PM. I told my sister to be there at 5 and we showed up at 4:30, early, so Olivia could get situated with her classmates. Well, we showed up just as all of the preschool dancers were taking their final bow.
I was completely devastated…and as you may guess, Olivia, even more so. We missed the whole thing! I wanted to go crawl into a hole and cry. Olivia held it together pretty well until I apologized to her and then she broke down. There was nothing I could do to fix it and make it all better. I’m usually pretty good at recoveries, but this time I was out of luck. This day will go down in history as one of my worst days…a day we both won’t forget. I imagine that years down the road, Olivia will remind me of the day that I got the time wrong on her dance performance.
This day, I also realized that I just pack my plate way too full. This month I have been just barely keeping my head above water with all of the birthday parties, ball games, kids year end activities, Julia’s care, fund raising, etc. I really need to slow it down and start limiting activities. Most Saturdays we’ve had three scheduled events and that’s just way too much. One event would be much more reasonable. As much as I’d like to be, I’m just not superwoman and I’m going to have to start saying “no.”
What would really make me feel much better is for any of you moms out there to share with me how you’ve screwed up. Come on, I know you all have. Please do tell so I don’t feel like I’m the only loser mom out there. I would really like to feel like I fit in somewhere because I was totally kicked out of the Perfect Moms Club for this latest fumble.
Olivia is such a good sport. She is turning into such a wonderful little girl. I appreciate her more and more each day. Her willingness to help…the way she always looks after Julia…the way she’s always giving gifts and treats to her dad. There’s nothing more heart wrenching than seeing your child devastated and heartbroken, knowing that you were the one to cause the heartache. I hope to never feel this ever again…it was truly awful…a real low point for me.
So, I’m putting my trust in my new ipod touch to save me and organize my life. However, I have a hard time getting to use it in between all three of my kids. They seem to love the thing more than I do. Julia loves to hear songs from our Wii Just Dance game. Olivia watched a movie on it tonight. Austin loves the music and if I can get any games on that thing, I’ll never see it again.
This month has been rough. TOBI has been killing me! Ugh, two plus hours of treatments and nebulizer sterilization every day. Julia is such a trooper. She teaches me everyday that patience is a virtue. If a two-year-old can put up with it, then what am I complaining about?
And there you have it…now it’s all out there and I can breathe and move on…
I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes there is just nothing that can be done once the moment is passed. I had one such moment with Melissa in Las Vegas. I was supposed to pick her up from school at 3:PM. At 3:30PM someone called from the school. I was 30 minutes away across the valley dealing with a jobsite that was in crisis. I had lost track of time, simple as that. For the 1,000 times we were there on time, she remembers the one time that we wern’t and still ribs me about it today 10 years later.
A few weeks ago I got a call from Jamie. it was 3:30PM and she and her friend were at school wanting to know were I was. I was in my office on the phone once again 30 minutes away. She and the friend had planned to come home that night for a weekend, had stuff planned etc. To this day she doesn’t know that I had simply lost track of the time. Traffic was horrendous. I got there after 4:PM. they had been taken to the principals office and had to wait there for me…..but the feeling is just awful.
So they each have one incident that can’t be taken back, although for now Jamie doesn’t know that I had….simply forgotten.
Thanks Mike, I feel a bit better already!
Yeah, the iPod will help you remember your crazy schedule…it really helped me with my crazy schedule. Definately use the iPod to help organize and remind you of everything. Tell the kids I miss them! Hang in there! Hugs!
Well, I’m so imperfect I’m not even attempting the perfect mom award. I know it’s a big deal to you and maybe Olivia will remember it forever. But if that’s the worst thing you’ve done I’d say she has the most fantastic mom ever! I do much worse. I had a week and a half of the girls taking turns waking up through out the night. I was seriously sleep deprived! (Yes I AM making excuses)
I had just gotten the baby down to sleep and got in bed so I could work on my 4th hour of sleep. Then my two year old started crying and screaming, I think the garbage truck had woken her up. The baby was waking up with all the racket she was making. I reluctantly got out of bed to go see what she needed. She was screaming about her stuffed animal being on the floor. She’s in a toddler bed. There was no reason she couldn’t climb out and go get it. I was VERY irritated! It was 6:30 in the morning and there was no way I was going to get her back to sleep without her screaming and waking up the baby. So instead of comforting her like I should have I growled at her and was a very grumpy mommy the whole morning. I need more than 4 hours of sleep to function as a civil person. You may not think that’s anything, but I was very ashamed at how I acted, tired or not. My baby needed me and all I gave her was a grumpy mommy that showed no compassion.
When I was 5 years old I was in ballet. My mom had to sew all my costumes for me. On the night of our big performance, we were spinning around (I forget what they call that) and my tutu got stuck on another girls tutu. For about 5 grueling minutes all I and this other girl could do was just stand there looking stupid while the other girls danced around us. After the performance some adults helped us get unstuck. We found out that the other girls mom and not sewn her little girls costume together but rather had stapled it together. Ha ha!! It’s funny now! But back then I was really embarrassed, I’m bet the other little girl was embarrassed and I’m pretty sure that poor mom was super embarrassed!
I totally would have been the mom that used staples! That’s too funny! I don’t know anyone who has much patience when being bothered in the middle of the night. I’m an eight hour girl all the way!
Janna,
I’m sure Olivia will forgive you, esp since it’s not a habit! I’ve done numerous things, too many to mention here, most involved with me being too grumpy and not patient at all.
Last week was so busy I had to write each day on a separate piece of paper since all the stuff wouldn’t fit on the calendar coherently. We had a family meeting and had this one night all figured out, who would drive who where etc. So the evening of dress rehearsals comes, which includes Tifnee from 4-6, Britnee and Alyssa from 6:10 to 8:10, Rowdy joining Britnee adn ALyssa at the high school before six while i went to a presidency meeting before six, with Crystal driving me and TIfnee to the school and then bringing Alyssa and Tifnee up later while I took Rowdy’s car and left him at the school…confused yet? Anyway, I realized once I was down the street that I’d messed up the plan as Crystal was supposed to be driving me and TIfnee there…I called Rowdy and he remained calm like he always does when I’m freaking out. Ended up working out in the long run but….it was crazy.
It was that week that it was all too much and I told Rowdy maybe he could cut back a little bit on his homehealth. Miraculously it naturally cut back a little bit due to demand. It’ll pick back up later but we are having a small break in that he actually is done by six or seven some nights. There comes a point when everything is too much. We can’t do everything but we can try and use wisdom in choosing our activities and our kids’ activities with discretion I supposed.
I don’t know how keep up. You’re doing great! Remember you’re a much better mom than you give yourself credit for!
love
Shauna
I lost you when you were explaining “the plan.” No wonder things got mixed up, I was mixed up just reading it! May is almost over and then I hope to be bored at home with my kids. Hope your girls enjoyed their dances. Wish we could make it. Let us know for the next performance…you never know. You could come to Olivia’s, but I’d probably tell you the wrong time and you’d miss it anyway. Hope you survive next week!
Janna, I am so sorry. I know that sinking feeling, and it is just awful. I was supposed to go to Jackson’s class last year and be a guest reader. I got to school to pick him up and his teacher asked if I was okay. I didn’t even know what she was talking about. She said I hadn’t come in and he was so excited, but surely something must have happened because I never do things like that. Well nothing had happened at all. I just plain old, completely forgot! Jackson was SO mad at me, and was almost in tears. Well then I was in tears! Needless to say he hasn’t brought it up in a while, and most likely Olivia will forget too. And as someone said above, even if she doesn’t, you are a wonderful mom and do so much for her and your kids. They are lucky to have you! My May was insane, too. Hope for your sake and mine things slow down very soon!
Thanks for sharing Angela. Moms have so much to remember. Out of the thousands of things we have to remember, we’re bound to forget at least one or two, or if you’re me many more!