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September has been quite the month of change for our little family.  School has now begun for all three Mills kids and the chill of fall can be felt in the air both morning and evening.  I am settling into my new job nicely, but still finding it a challenge to keep a balance.  The main thing that has taken a back seat lately is my own personal health and fitness.  I’ve found that working as a part-time teacher doesn’t actually mean that I work part time hours.  I have been staying up ’til midnight at times getting things ready for lessons and centers.  Naturally, this poses a problem to maintain my early morning gym schedule.  So, let’s just say…I’m falling out of shape.  It really amazes me how long and hard you have to work to be fit and how, in a matter of a few weeks, it’s just gone.  For me, working out is my Prozac.  I have found that it’s the best way for me to keep my sanity.

Naturally when I got a phone call from the CF clinic nurse at Primary Children’s, asking me to fill in as a runner in the Utah Marathon Relay to benefit cystic fibrosis, there was no way I could say no.  I really needed my Prozac.

Many familiar faces were at the relay.  Julia’s doctor was there, the head nurse (AKA the lady that does the throat tickle) with her husband, and our favorite nurse that checks Julia’s weight and blood pressure…all were there.  I thought this was amazing and here’s why…these people spend their entire week on the front lines battling CF and how do they choose to spend their Saturday?  Yes, even on the weekend they are working hard to fight cystic fibrosis.  Wow, that touches my heart.  These are the people Julia has on her team.  She’s such a lucky girl.

I ran a very hard 5.2 miles…hard because I’m out of shape and hard because I was trying to go as fast as I could without passing out.  I was the slow poke on the team.  Everyone else could do 8 minute miles and I do 10 minute miles when I’m in shape and I’m not.  I pushed myself to go as fast as I could.  I did my leg in around 54 minutes and Team InCourage, the makers of RespirTech (Julia’s vest) placed 18th out of 63 teams.  Not too shabby.

I cried much of way home.  I cried because I needed to.  I find that I’m numb most times.  I  purposely numb myself to what CF really is and what it really means.  But, there are times when the reality of it hurts.  It’s real when you see a sign pinned to a runner’s back in memory of a friend who passed away recently because of CF.  It’s real when a three-year-old doesn’t have his mom anymore because of CF.  I choose not to dwell on that side of CF for very long, but there are times when I’m confronted with it, face it, and move on, continuing the good fight.

It was a good weekend.  I feel rejuvenated and ready to face anything that comes my way.

1. 

   Dana

   September 26, 2011 at 9:28 pm

   Hey Janna,
   Thanks for this post! We were bummed to miss the relay this year, but hope to put a team together next year. That means I have a year to get into some sort of running shape.. ugh!
   I just had a day like what you described. Such a balance between staying positive and hating this ugly disease. Thanks for being real. Hope you are doing well!
   Dana